Where Social Media Went Wrong

Now, let me preface this by saying that by no means do I have the excuse of “back in my day we didn’t have social media.” To an extent, I grew up with it - but not in the way it is today. When I was 13, I didn’t have highly-edited photos and anonymous messages being thrown at me when I was at the most vulnerable and impressionable state in my life. Sure, I had an Instagram in junior high and a Snapchat later on in those years, but lately, something has gotten under my skin.

If you know anything about my future plans, you would know that I want to work with social media and digital content for a living. I believe there is good to be expressed through these platforms, and the potential they pose on the business world is astonishing. However, this, in no way, means that I condone what has become of social media.

Lately, if you have any teenage friends on snapchat, you most likely have seen something called YOLO. This is very similar to AskFM back in my day, but it has taken on a whole new meaning. A concept that was used as a way to anonymously ask who your crush was in junior high has turned into something teens confide in for verification and acceptance. If you are new to concept, let me break it down for you.

Snapchat allows you to put a sticker prompting people to slide up on your story and anonymously share comments with you. Then, you are able to reply back to these anonymous messages and post those for the world to see.

When written out like that, it almost seems pointless. Why can’t you just say something with your name attached? What is so secretive that you don’t want someone to know you are saying it - yet you are okay with the world knowing SOMEONE said it? It honestly baffles me.

Social media went wrong when it allowed individuals to not only hide behind a screen, but to hide behind a screen without a username attached. It went wrong when it allowed users to say the most degrading things and not even own up to it. As if hiding behind a username wasn’t bad enough - now cyberbullying can be done so much easier.

Now, “What triggered this insanely rant-like post?” you may ask.

Within the past week, I have seen the affects this has had on young and older teenagers alike. There are two extremes in these situations: either the person asking for messages gets a bigger ego OR they end up in tears over the things they never expected to hear, being told that they “asked for the truth and needed to be prepared for it.” As someone who has never been a fan of “to be honest” posts because it is simply the fakest depiction of anyone’s actual opinion, this has taken it to a whole new level. Now you can share your opinion…ANONYMOUSLY! HOW SAFE!

In both of the cases described above, the original post was more than likely fishing for compliments because, let’s be honest, we all expect the typical, “oh my goodness! You are so pretty, girl!” messages. When those girls posted asking for messages, they never expected someone to bully and degrade them.

One case in particular has been lingering in my mind all week. Because I have young teenage brothers, I have the privilege of having many of their friends or peers on Snapchat. One girl last week posted a snap asking for messages and received the most raunchy, inappropriate messages I have ever heard from a 13-year old audience. As an almost 20-year old, it made ME uncomfortable reading the messages left itemizing her body and encouraging her to do things girls her age should not even be thinking about. It disgusted me to the point that I couldn’t sleep that night knowing that the 13-year old girl was going to bed with all of those disgusting messages about her body floating in the back of her mind.

When does it stop?

When is the line going to be drawn to limit what can be said and done behind a screen?

When is enough simply enough?

When do social media platforms realize that marketing these things to teenagers is a huge threat?

When do teens realize the potential harm they are inflicting on their own self-esteem?

When will social media sites realize that what they are doing is giving their users a false sense of reality?

To the teen asking for anonymous messages, I say this:

Quit seeking approval from strangers.

If someone wanted your honest opinion of them, they would ask.

You don’t need others to tell you that you are pretty only when you ask for comments. You are beautiful without the forced compliments. Wouldn’t you rather KNOW who was complimenting you?

If you have a reason you are posting (which you more than likely do), just cut to the chase. Don’t fish for it through anonymous messages. You need to face reality at some point. You can’t detach your name in the real world. You also will need to learn to accept others opinions face-to-face instead of crafting replies to snarky messages you receive.

I am not going to quit using social media because of this. I am also not going to unadd those who choose to use these features. I am simply raising awareness to the issue and pointing out flaws in the system before something bad happens.

You heard it here first, folks. Snapchat will soon be under fire for condoning cyberbullying before we know it.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.