My experience in a Miss America pageant
What better way to start off my "beauty" category than a post about a pageant, right?
To be honest, I was crown thirsty. Let's take a trip to my past for a quick second. I competed in two princess pageants as a little five-year-old and never did too well. In my first pageant, I was that girl that twirled around and talked on stage. After realizing that my behavior held me back from the crown, I was dead silent during my next pageant. Neither of these experiences led to a crown or even a congeniality award. All I got was a little fake gold trophy with a princess on it. In fact, the trophies were the same from both pageants. The princess displayed on my participation trophy was a reminder of what I wasn't: a princess.
Fast forward 13 years. I am a very spontaneous person. One Sunday afternoon while I was home alone, I decided that it was time to take my pageant shoes out of retirement and enter a pageant. I wanted to compete, and I wanted to compete now. I stumbled across the Miss America Organization and after research, I found out that they gave out scholarships.
As a future college student trying to scrape up as much scholarship money as possible, I thought, "What better way to earn a scholarship than be in a pageant and be able to dress up like a princess?" I also figured that this was a good selling point for my mom.
There was one problem with entering this Miss America local pageant: it was a month away. Okay, maybe there were SEVERAL problems with this pageant. It was a month away, all of the paperwork was due in a week, and I didn't have a dress, swimsuit, interview dress, shoes, or any idea what this type of pageant was about. However, in true Sydney fashion, I emailed the director and told her that I was interested in entering. She told me that I could definitely still enter and that we wouldn't practice until the day of...PERFECT for busy Sydney. I spent the next week writing resumes, creating a platform statement, and googling "how to win a pageant."
We spent a lot of money on this last minute venture. After buying a Calvin Klein interview dress (which I was absolutely in love with), a Venus pageant swimsuit, various pairs of heels, and a dress that was supposed to be just to borrow but ended up being bought to use for prom, I was physically ready. Keep in mind that I am the type of girl to wear kitten heels at homecoming because my balance is TERRIBLE. I practiced walking around my kitchen in these 20 inch heels (not really, but they were super tall and had the potential to snap my ankles at any second) and spent the next few weeks studying current events for the interview portion of the competition.
The day came, and I honestly did not want to follow through with it...at all. My motivation was the fact that my mom spent money on this and told me that it was too late to back out now. I woke up at 6 a.m. to get my hair and makeup done by my cousin. Just a little side note: we weren't allowed to have ANYONE in the back with us the entire day which meant I had to get ready at 6 a.m., be able to do touch ups by myself, and be ready for the pageant at 7 p.m. Keep in mind that my hair is straight..I mean really straight. The fact that may hair doesn't hold a curl was my biggest concern at this point. Curlers in and makeup done, I was ready to head to practice. Little did I know that this was the start of the scariest experience of my life.
We finally arrived at the location and started off by having no clue where we were supposed to be. After being directed downstairs, I found the dressing room. I knew I was out of place when I walked in and no one was speaking. You could literally hear a pin drop in that place. When the director came in, she called the teens to practice, and I realized that I had all of my stuff in the teen area instead of the Miss area. Great...I had already set myself up for embarrassment. When the teens left, I realized that I was legitimately the ONLY one that didn't look like they were at least 24 with a master degree living in their own home with their fiance.
I am usually pretty independent and positive, but in this moment, all I wanted was for my mom to either stay with me or take me home. Neither of these things happened, and when it was time for practice to start, my mom had to leave me in this strange abyss where I felt the least self-confident that I had ever felt in my life. I thought that surely after practice started that the girls would become a little more personable and friendly. I was wrong. They all had the crown on their mind and didn't want to socialize with their competition.
I pushed myself through the practice, realizing that I was the only one that didn't flawlessly walk in their heels. Also, through side conversations, I found out that I was the only one that hadn't been in at least 5 MAO pageants. This was apparently a thing you do over and over again until you win. I could already tell that that wouldn't be the case for me.
It came time for the interview, and I literally thought I was going to pass out. I looked like a business lady but definitely didn't have the demeanor of one. Hearing the other girls giving each other mock interviews, my lack of preparation haunted me. I entered the elevator to ride up to the room where my soul would be crushed (not really but you get the point).
My interview experience was not as bad as I expected. I was mostly asked questions based on my resume and about social media. I was able to answer in sentences that sort of made sense, so I was proud. Now that the terrifying part of the competition was over, it was time to get onstage for the pageant. The rest of the pageant ran smoothly.
We started off the competition with an opening number where I got to wear my Sherri Hill little black dress from homecoming again. Following the opening number, we answered an onstage question. Mine was something about CEOs, and I couldn't really hear the person asking the question. As the lights baked the makeup on my face, my voice shook as I answered the question to the best of my ability saying, "I think everyone deserves a more equal salary because everyone works hard." Nice, Sydney. Nice.
I then put on my swimsuit and super duper high heels and strutted my stuff on the stage. I was pretty comfortable in this portion of the competition given I was a competitive dancer and wore these types of things on stage all the time. Not to mention they played sassy background music, so I was really feeling myself.
The time came for the final and most competitive portion of the competition. It was time to drag my train across the stage in my beautiful Shail K dress, avoiding the fake palm tress in every corner and resisting the urge to trip up the stage (but really, who has a pageant on a stage with stairs?). At this point, I decided to just enjoy myself because I knew that I didn't stand even the slightest chance against these older, far more experienced girls. I felt like a queen in the dress.
After the awards, thanking my friends for coming, and getting a milkshake from Arby's on the way home, I had a deep reflection on my life. This experience was terrifying to me. I didn't feel comfortable at all. In fact, I was scared to death. But, I did it. Even though my grandma warned me, my aunts warned me, and my parents warned me, I didn't listen and still did it. However, I was proud of myself for doing something that scared me.
I came to the conclusion that this experience was about so much more than the glitz and glam. I overcame something that no one I know would have done. I put myself out there, embarrassed myself a little along the way, and succeeded. Even though I didn't go home with the crown or the $250 scholarship (this is the dollar amount they DON'T tell you about) (in fact, I felt my face drop as I realized I did all of this for the chance at a whopping $250), I came home a winner of my self-confidence. I finally felt like I did something for fun instead of trying to please someone else.
Lesson of the day: do something that scares you. Try something new and if you fail, at least you tried. Everything you experience makes you who you are. It all adds to this beautiful thing we call life. I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and enjoy every second of it. Beauty is about more than what is on the outside. If you'd like to talk to me about this experience or just life in general, feel free to reach out to me. I would love to give you some more insight on what it is like to explore new avenues and open up new doors.
“We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.
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