My boyfriend lives WHERE? - The story of my long distance relationship
"My friend Charlie's friend is hot" - the text that started it all.
I never got into the "dating phase" as an adolescent. Growing up, I had one junior high relationship (if you would even call it that). I never sought after having an awkward relationship where you were too shy to talk to each other in person and kept it a secret for months before it ended. WIth that in mind, I feel as if my long distance relationship was the first "real" (some may say unreal) relationship.
It started out in March of 2015. Like the cliche things adults say about big world events, I remember exactly where I was when I was introduced to the boy that would soon change my life. I was sitting in my mother's chair at the dinner table doing homework one afternoon on spring break (yeah, my spanish teacher was THAT teacher). I was messaging my friend, Morgan, on Whatsapp and she said "my friend Charlie's friend is hot." Not knowing who the heck these boys were that she was talking about, I responded with. "Who is Charlie?" Not to my surprise, Morgan, who was infatuated with her foreign friends, told me that Charlie was her british friend that she met on a school trip a few years prior.
I will admit, I originally only asked for his Snapchat username because he was British. I mean, what American girl doesn't awe over a man with an accent? After all, British men are supposed to be sooooo charming, right? Morgan reluctantly shared her friends username with me and warned me not to "steal her best friend." I added him and waited a few hours to get an add back.
Once again, I remember where I was when he added me back. I was standing in my grandma's basement looking at a dining room table that she wanted to give us which is still sitting in my garage as we speak. I felt an overflow of joy overcome my body when I read "Charlie added you back on Snapchat." Like any other girl would do, I sent my best selfie with the caption "Hey :)." The smiley face was cringey, I know. To this day, Charlie still makes fun of the fact that I waited to reply to not seem too eager. Spoiler alert: I got past that phase pretty quickly.
After talking and agreeing to Skype when I returned home, his face finally appeared on my cracked iPad screen. "Charlieeeeeeee," was the greeting of choice that would later on become the way I started all of our Skype calls. The awkward "I don't know anything about you" stage didn't last long, and before we knew it, it was 3 a.m. These 6 hour facetime calls continued on for the remainder of my spring break.
On the last day of spring break, April 2nd, Charlie asked me if I would ever consider starting a long distance relationship. Even though I had never really been in any sort of relationship period, the idea of having a boyfriend who lived across the Atlantic seemed so glamorous. I will admit that it was 2 a.m., and as you may know, that was the prime hour for "feels." Not knowing what I was getting myself into, I told him that I think we could make it work because we really cared about each other and we cliqued almost instantly. At this point, I didn't really expect much out of the relationship, to be honest. It was astonishing that I even had a boyfriend.
We fell in love fast. Despite my mother's warning to not get attached because it was unrealistic in her eyes, I got attached. I spent hours on end watching videos of other couples meeting for the first time and longing for that day for Charlie and I. The 4,000+ miles between us never really took a toll on our feelings for each other. Like the old saying says, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Fast forward to August of 2015. By this time, most of my friends and family knew (and doubted) that I was dating a boy from England. School starting soon and dance competition practices being in full swing caused an array of emotions and stress for me. It didn't help that everytime I sat down for a family dinner I was hit with the "why are you still dating that Charlie kid?"
My parents, who fell in love at the age of 13 and 14, couldn't wrap their heads around having feelings for someone who was so far away. I completely understood where they were coming from a parental standpoint, but it was almost as if they refused to give me a chance to explain. This wasn't just a fad or a far-fetched dream. These were my emotions we were talking about. After many tears and hopeless explanations, my parents made it clear to me that there was no possible way that I would ever be able to meet Charlie face-to-face.
As I mentioned before, I'm not the type to just date someone for fulfilling my relationship status. Even though it was a crushing realization, I came to the conclusion that if we were never going to meet, what was the point of continuing on with this relationship? Just like my mom said, we would only get more attached. Heartbroken and confused, I broke the news to Charlie that it wasn't going to work out. I wasn't happy with what I did nor did I think I made the right choice.
Our "break up" didn't last long. As you can probably imagine, I was so broken. Through my broken cries, my parents finally opened their eyes to the situation. They gave me time to explain how we had plans for the future. I opened up my heart to them, and that was what truly saved our relationship.
Four months later, I met Charlie for the first time at the airport. He was finally here and real. Proving everyone wrong was so rewarding in this moment. He wasn't a creepy old man. He wasn't a robot. He was Charlie; the Charlie I knew and loved.
Fast forward to January of 2018 and five visits later, and here we are - happy as ever.
You CAN love someone you have never physically met.
Spending nine months just talking and getting to know each other is true love. Falling in love with who someone is rather than with their physical presence is true love.
Long distance is possible.
